Entertaining Bipolar Quiz
with Funny Test Questions

How do you characterize your energy levels?

A. You are more active at some times than others, but you find that you simply can't find enough energy to put your whole heart into every activity. The important tasks have your full attention, or as much of it as you can spare, but the other tasks that aren't as important simply get left undone. If you think this is a description of the human condition in general, you're right. The difference lies in the tasks you deem important. Unlike most folks, you will occasionally deem counting the cracks in the pavement between your home and office more important than, say, getting something to eat. Eating can wait, right?

B. Within a space of fifteen seconds you have shifted from swinging from the chandeliers in your office while answering the phone and eating your lunch to sitting quietly in your chair wondering how many fibers there are in your desk and wanting to know just why your head hurts so much and the reason for the large, splintered dent in the desk.

Answers to Question 1

A. There is a risk that you are suffering from slight bipolar disorder, and you should seek professional help in order to stop the symptoms of the bipolar disorder from worsening.

B. You technically should own the funny farm that you belong to, and to call you reality-challenged is like saying that the color purple is "not really blue".

How talkative are you?

A. Sometimes I tend to talk faster than at other times, and I find that it can be hard to control the rate at which I am speaking. Many times during the day I simply refuse to talk because it is too much effort, while at other times I have a hard time not talking even while eating lunch, using the bathroom, having sex, or taking a nap.

B. I like to talk and should you like to talk as much as I do and you will find that you can say a lot when you talk a lot and you can get a lot done when you talk about everything important and could you please pass the ketchup and can we go over the report when we are done with lunch and what are you doing this weekend and you should finish that because it is impolite to leave food on your plate is what my mommy told me and we need to leave a good tip for the waitress. (Take a moment to breathe before you pass out from talking too much)

Answers to Question 2

A. Okay, so, the good news is that there is nothing inherently wrong with either talking or staying quiet - not even when you're having sex or taking a nap. The bad news for you is that your mood swings may indicate a tendency for bipolar disorder. You might consider seeking professional help in order to stop the symptoms of bipolar disorder from worsening.

B. You are either a professional speaker or you suffer from bipolar disorder. Or possibly both!

How interested are you in sex overall?

A. I often find that my sex drive is heightened and I feel like doing kinky things, while at other times I have no desire for sex at all. None. Zero. Zip. Nada. You couldn't interest me in it even if you looked like my favorite idol, flooded me in pheromones, stripped of all your clothes and offered to make my every sexual wish, dream and desire come true. On the other hand, during the times that my sex drive is heightened I have a VERY BIG interest in sex, though I do have a hard time feeling satisfied. By the way, are you wearing those tight clothes because you want to come on to me? Because if you are, then I am totally all right with that. You are kind of hot, you know, in fact you kind of look like my favorite idol, and you smell good, too. Would you like to get out of that tight outfit and slip into something more comfortable ... like chains, maybe?

B. I think my sex drive is fairly normal for a person my age. After all, doesn't everyone have sex 10 to 15 times every day for a month straight? I actually thought I was having too little sex when I only had it 4 or 5 times a day for a whole week, though I sure made up for it in other ways.

Answers to Question 3

A. Having your sex drive go up and down over a period of time is very common. Being kinky isn't as common or it wouldn't be kinky, but it's still normal. You, however, may not be. Or, to be precise, you may be showing symptoms of bipolar disorder.

B. Sex is one of the greatest inventions since ..., since ..., well, ever. However, NOT everyone has sex 10 to 15 times a day, every day. Granted, some folks do, but maybe, just maybe, they ... too ... need to get themselves checked out for symptoms of bipolar disorder.

What do you consider a good night's rest?

A. It depends on my mood really. I often find that I am exhausted after sleeping for 24 hours, while at other times I simply can't stay in bed for more than 3 hours.

B. The same as everyone else. My weeks are pretty long, and I like to go to sleep on Monday and wake up on Friday to ensure that I get a good weekend of staying up late.

Answers to Question 4

A. You either suffer from bipolar disorder, or you're stressed out to the point of crazy. Again, take your pick.

B. You're probably a zombie. Though you may also just be a normal, healthy sufferer from bipolar disorder.

How long can you spend doing the same activity?

A. I often get stuck doing the same thing over and over, and it can be hard to pull myself away from repeatedly doing something I considered important at the time I started it. Though later, if I do manage to extricate myself from the repeated task, I must admit that I tend to re-evaluate the actual importance of the task - as well as my own sanity and judgment.

B. I tend to lose interest in a project or task fast. Really fast. After all, it only took me a little while to get bored driving around the world on my son's scooter, and I turned back halfway through my swim from Miami to South Africa because it was no longer interesting. However, tomorrow I plan to have the adventure of a lifetime by being the first person to dive down to the deepest part of the ocean - scuba gear free.

Answers to Question 5

A. You may be a robot. Or suffer from bipolar disorder. Take your pick.

B. The good news is that there is medication that can help you overcome your problem. The bad news is that that medication may just be what is also known as a lethal injection. Not that there is any need for it - you will probably accomplish the same result all by yourself.

How many of these things have happened to you?

• You are frequently chased by trees.



• The sun never stops yelling at you.



• You have requested that your meal be "to go" when sitting in the drive through.



• You get annoyed by everyone touching you, even though you are the only one sitting in your own car.



• You file a restraining order against reality.



• You have successfully reached 1000 skips without the need for a jump rope.



• The gibberish coming out of a baby's mouth makes perfect sense, and life becomes so clear all of a sudden.



• You find yourself crying as you read the epic saga of Rudolph the Bi-Polar Reindeer.



• You threaten that both of you are going to kick someone's ass when you are alone.



• You know fifteen brands of anti-depressants, but only one of your children's names.



• You find that nothing tastes quite as good as chewing on a fresh rainbow.



• For the life of you, you cannot remember the letter A.



• You get the irresistible urge to try and see if you can't "create the world in seven days again", just for the heck of it.

Many people aren't sure if they are suffering bipolar disorder, but you may want to consider the fact that you may be slightly bipolar if you frequently experience:

• Headaches from all of the mimes yelling at you.



• Strange looks from people while getting the feeling that you are saying the same sentence for the fifth time.



• The strong desire to bare your fangs and rip the nose off that person who is annoying you so badly.



• A sensation of loss when the voices in your head go away to take a short rest during the afternoon.



• The desire to write a letter to Robin Williams telling him to add some life to his performances, as they are boring you.



• The feeling that you totally understand the mysteries of life, but simply can't figure out whether to toast your bread facing forward or backward.



• Sense begins to matter much less as matter begins to sense much more.



• Exhaustion from vacations that took you to exotic foreign countries for a fortnight, even though you haven't left your chair.



• A distaste for the same food that you have been eating for the last three months: Antacid tablets.



• A strong desire to learn how to bark just so you can tell your dog to shut up.



• The irresistible urge to make a scientific breakthrough in the study of how to administer caffeine intravenously.



• The feeling that you are just one really hard flap away from flying away.