The Churchill quotes you will find here are about subjects such as action, risk, success, victory, democracy, war, stupidity, human qualities, fear, tradition and politics.
Not only are many of these quotes by Winston Churchill wise, they are very often also quite funny.
With seeming ease, he creates wonderful linguistic paradoxes spiced up with sharp, intelligent sarcasm and typical understated British humor.
Read on and dive into the first batch of funny quotes by Winston Churchill.
Lean back and enjoy these sharp witted quotes:
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
~ Winston Churchill ~
I think I can save the British Empire from anything - except the British.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Yes, at once hilariously funny but also pointedly sarcastic. Another way to phrase this great quote by Churchill is mirrored in the famous saying: You are your own worst enemy.
The meaning is similar, the wording though, not as funny! :-)
More funny and famous quotes by Churchill coming up:
In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.
~ Winston Churchill on General Montgomery ~
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
~ Winston Churchill ~
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
~ Winston Churchill ~
In 1904 Winston Churchill met his future wife, Clementine Hozier for the first time.
Four years later in 1908, he met her again and this time he didn't let her get away that easily again. Churchill quickly married Clementine later that same year.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
~ Winston Churchill ~
From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
~ Winston Churchill ~
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
~ Winston Churchill ~
There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
~ Winston Churchill ~
A wonderful example of Winston Churchill's famous play with words where he creates funny paradoxes that forces you to stop, sit down, and think.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
~ Winston Churchill on Sir Richard Stafford Cripps, a Labour politician ~
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Winston Churchill was not only a sharp intellectual; he was also a man of action. In other words, he was a strong cocktail of both thought and action.
One of his many important everyday tasks during the Second World War was to prioritize what needed to be done and when.
So, when he gave out orders, he made sure to clearly prioritize their importance and the top most important tasks would be 'decorated' with a sharp red label that said "Action This Day".
Here are some great Churchill quotes about action:
I never worry about action, but only inaction.
~ Winston Churchill ~
No hour of life is lost that is spent in the saddle.
~ Winston Churchill ~
I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded. In fact, if anything, I am the prod.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Winston Churchill's ability to inspire and bring hope to the British leaders and citizens was one of his biggest attributes as a wartime leader.
His relentless dedication to action and always having a mission naturally infused his personality with the attributes of strong enthusiasm, stubborn perseverance and contagious optimism.
One of Churchill's most famous mottos reflects this dedication to action: "We must just KBO" (We must just keep buggering on),
Here are some more quotes about action:
I like things to happen; and if they don't happen, I like to make them happen.
~ Winston Churchill ~
It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Better to dare mighty things and fail, than to live in a grey twilight where there is neither victory nor defeat.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Even though Winston Churchill was very successful in many of his various political and war related missions, he did also carry out strategies and interventions that lead to failures such as the military offensive in Norway in 1904.
However fortunately, Churchill was more of a 'goal' man than a 'being right' man.
So if something didn't work or he was proven wrong, he wasn't afraid to eat his own words and strike a new, better course of action.
These quotes about being wrong show that even though Churchill doesn't like it, truth is more important than upholding a flawless self image:
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Eating my own words has never given me indigestion.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Being more of an action orientated pragmatist and realist rather than a romantic idealist, Churchill realized that everything, even the seemingly best, has its limits.
The Winston quotes below clearly show both Churchill's positive adherence to, as well as his healthy critical sense toward, democracy:
Democracy is the best form of the worst type of government.
~ Winston Churchill ~
It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Many forms of government have been tried and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Even though Winston Churchill is known as a strong wartime leader, he is by no means a war illusionist painting war with a golden romantic glow.
On the contrary he saw war as a necessary evil.
So according to Churchill, war is a time of chaos, uncertainty and madness but that was still deemed a better option than surrendering oneself systems and beliefs with which one cannot reconcile.
Here are some famous quotations by Churchill in which he addresses the concept of war:
War is mainly a catalogue of blunders.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realize that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.
~ Winston Churchill ~
If, however, there is to be a war of nerves let us make sure our nerves are strong and are fortified by the deepest convictions of our hearts.
~ Winston Churchill ~
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Just as much as he hated passivity and procrastination, he strongly disassociated himself with anything that smelled vaguely of fanaticism.
Here are some great quotes about fanaticism:
No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism.
~ Winston Churchill ~
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
~ Winston Churchill ~
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Winston Churchill had a long political career being very active and before and after the First World War.
In the 1930s Churchill was out of Government but his increasing worries about Hitler and his continuous appeal to take a more aggressive stance towards Germany let him, among other things, to be accepted as First Lord of the Admiralty in 1939.
This was his first step into his most important and memorable years of war politics and in 1940 Winston Churchill became Prime Minister.
And it was as Prime Minister and war leader Winston Churchill is considered to have reaped most of his successes and victories: politically of course by winning the war but also as an icon of inspiration, strength and encouragement.
Here are some famous Winston Churchill quotes about victory:
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The problems of victory are more agreeable than those of defeat, but they are no less difficult.
~ Winston Churchill ~
To the right you see Winston Churchill's popular signal of victory, the V-sign.
This now classic gesture of both victory and opposition by Winston Churchill quickly became popular worldwide and has since then been used by both warriors and peacemakers alike.
Below you'll find more quotes about victory and success:
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The price of greatness is responsibility.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.
~ Winston Churchill ~
To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.
~ Winston Churchill ~
You can see Winston Churchill as being on a personal mission of doing what he believed was right. And being guided by that torch of 'rightness' made Churchill seem naturally infused with courage and perseverance.
Here are some inspirational Churchill quotes about courage:
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak, Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Never give in -- never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The above courage quote is probably one of Winston Churchill's most famous quotes of all time.
It was uttered in a speech he gave at Harrow in 1941 and it worked as great inspiration to keep on fighting for freedom and being optimistic in spite of obvious hardships and challenges.
Here are some more quotes about courage and other human virtues:
You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.
~ Winston Churchill ~
All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Here Winston Churchill very wisely captures the essence of how fear works.
The more you ignore fear or try to run away from it, the more you will feed it and stronger it will grow.
However, if you choose to look it in the eyes, you will often realize that there is really not much to fear ... other fear than itself.
Dive into more great Winston Churchill quotes about fear:
We have a lot of anxieties, and one cancels out another very often.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning.
~ Winston Churchill ~
One of the things that made Winston Churchill such a successful orator and writer was his ability to put his messages into powerful and unforgettable metaphors.
Some of his primary means of manifesting his points was via the use of animal analogies. (In this connection, it is funny to recapture Churchill's famous nickname provided by the Russians, The British Bulldog).
Here are some great examples of such Winston Churchill quotes:
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
~ Winston Churchill ~
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
~ Winston Churchill ~
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
~ Winston Churchill ~
We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Winston Churchill was not exactly a modest man.
He was very well aware of his talents and powers and he was convinced that he was destined to do great things. This is why he in metaphorical terms speaks of himself as being 'only' a human being but one that shines more brightly than many others.
Here are more Winston Churchill quotes that also have a rich imagery::
Some see private enterprise as a predatory target to be shot, others as a cow to be milked, but few are those who see it as a sturdy horse pulling the wagon.
~ Winston Churchill ~
We are happier in many ways when we are old than when we were young. The young sow wild oats. The old grow sage.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Here are some Winston Churchill quotes about using the past as a learning ground for deciphering what's going on in the Now and for optimizing future conduct:
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.
~ Winston Churchill ~
A love for tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Broadly speaking, the short words are the best, and the old words best of all.
~ Winston Churchill ~
In critical and baffling situations, it is always best to return to first principle and simple action.
~ Winston Churchill ~
His success is probably more due to efficient action rather than successful prediction.
Here are some rather funny quotes by Winston Churchill about predicting the future:
Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.
~ Winston Churchill ~
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.
~ Winston Churchill ~
It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Not only is Winston Churchill famous for his war quotes about victory and courage and his political quotes regarding e.g. democracy, he is also famous for his general words of wisdom.
Here are a few good examples of inspirational quotes by Winston Churchill:
If you have knowledge, let others light their candles with it.
~ Winston Churchill ~
It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
~ Winston Churchill ~
If you are going through hell, keep going.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Yes, this sarcastic but funny quote is so true and very typical of Churchill's spirit of perseverance. No matter how tough things may seem, keep on going. Don't stop!
Here are more motivational quotes by Winston Churchill:
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
~ Winston Churchill ~
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
~ Winston Churchill ~
It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.
~ Winston Churchill ~
The whole history of the world is summed up in the fact that, when nations are strong, they are not always just, and when they wish to be just, they are no longer strong.
~ Winston Churchill ~
I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Let's end this page with this important message from Churchill:
The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.
~ Winston Churchill ~
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