Funny Life Quotes & Stuff: The Quotescoop.com Inspiration Blog

In this life I started out with nothing at all, and in fact I still have most of it.
~ Inspirational quote ~

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
~ Josh Billings ~

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.
~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Life Isn't Serious

No human thing is of serious importance.
~ Plato ~

Incidentally Plato was not only a philosopher, but also a mathematician, an world famous author and founder of the first institution of higher learning in the Western world - the Academy in Athens. He may have known what he was talking about.

In more recent times (1856-1915) an American artist, philosopher, writer and publisher has been accredited, perhaps unduly, with saying:

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
~ Elbert Green Hubbard ~

And in even more recent times (1914-1997), American journalist and author Brendan Gill (who wrote for the New York Times for more than 60 years and authored many books) said:

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
~ Brendan Gill ~

Quotescoop.com's Opinion

In fact, lots of evidence exists to support just about any claim you want supported.

What does this tell us about life?

It tells us that life supports anything.

That's actually one of life's defining features!

Corrupt politicians, terrorists and (other) mass murderers profit from this fact ... as did Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi and, say, Albert Einstein or John Lennon.

Oh, and you, of course. Life supports you no matter who you are, what you want and how you try to get it.

Life supports everyone in everything. No matter what you (or anyone else) chooses to be, feel, think, need, believe, do and have ... life's right there, supporting you in your efforts.

Life Goes On

In 3 words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on.
~ Robert Frost ~

Always forgive but never forget
Learn from your mistakes
But never regret
People change and things go wrong
But always remember
LIFE GOES ON!
~ George Carlin ~ (Excerpt from poem written after his wife died)

No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Or not. But then there's always the day after tomorrow. Or not.
~ Inspirational quote? ~

Life goes on within you and without you.
~ The Beatles ~

Why is it important that life goes on? Because it tells us about the ultimate consequences of destroying versus creating (both of which are dependent on each other, and therefore necessary):

You can be as destructive as you like, but the more destructive you are, the more likely that you'll destroy yourself or be destroyed, because, hey, life WILL go on!

If you're scared of corrupt politicians, terrorists and (other) mass murderers you can take heart from this.

Cats and Dogs

We can almost imagine the sound effects of a heavy rain fall ... 'Drip, drip! DRIP, DRIP! Splash! Meow! Woof?'

Turns out, though, that nobody really knows where that particular saying comes from.

There are lots of interesting attempts at explaining it, but the most likely explanation is rather prosaic and nasty, because it has to do with dead animals being washed away in gutters. But, since nobody knows for sure any guess is (almost) as good as any other.

Here at Ouotescoop.com we much prefer the more imaginative guesses, such as packs of dogs and cats (packs of cats?) crawling around on thatched roofs, slipping when it rains and falling down on surprised peasants ... or (really) freak weather lifting herds of cats (herds of cats?) and dogs into the sky and raining them down again on highly surprised gentry.

Funny Quotes about Attitude:
Dogs Have Owners - Cats Have Staff!

There's a lot we can learn from our beloved pets, and much of it is about attitude towards life.

Let's illustrate that with a cat and dog joke ...

A dog thinks: 'Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me ... THEY MUST BE GODS!'

A cat thinks: 'Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me ... I MUST BE A GOD!'

A couple of funny dog quotes and funny cat quotations will illustrate much the same points:

Dogs believe they are human. Cats know they are divine.
~ Inspirational quote ~

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
~ Robert A. Heinlein ~

Funny Dog Sayings That'll Teach Us About Life

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard ~

Dogs will love even (...) To read the rest of this blog entry please click here: Funny Cat Quotes & Funny Dog Sayings.

Funny Stupid Questions

You know, weird questions like 'Why does 'caregiver' and 'caretaker' mean the same thing?' and 'If a guy with multiple personality disorder threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?' and 'Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?' That sort of bizarre questions.

Whatever weird questions like that should be called, we'll open the 'hostilities' by paraphrasing one of many famous sayings about life: Life's a bitch when it turns out you married one, and then you die.

In that vein a famous Dane (Danish inventor, author and cartoonist) once said:

Life is like a kid's t-shirt ... short and dirty.
~ Robert Storm Petersen ~

Oh, speaking of life and death, we've got a joke, we just have to tell you (...) To read the rest of this blog entry please click here: Funny Stupid Questions.

Funny Life Quotes: Honesty Is the Best Policy

Publish and be damned!
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

The Duke's good name and reputation was at stake, nevertheless he had enough confidence in himself to let the story about the attempted blackmail become public knowledge.

His reputation remained fine and he remained a national hero (for winning the Battle of Waterloo against Napoleon in 1815). The Duke was later elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

A blackmailer relies on fear. If you have no fear, the blackmailer is powerless.

The only thing I am afraid of is fear.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

If you subscribe to honesty it's actually the blackmailer who has a problem.

Isn't that funny? It brings life to the old proverb that Honesty is the best policy.

Let's end this blog post with two other Duke of Wellington quotes:

Nothing except a battle lost can be half so melancholy as a battle won.
~ Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington ~

In his last years, a friend asked the so-called Iron Duke this question: "If you had your life over again, is there any way in which you could have done better?" The old Duke replied: "Yes, I should have given more praise."

That, too, is something to think about isn't it?