Share Your Very Funny Joke Here

• Like very funny stuff? Share your very funny joke here!
• And, of course, have fun reading what other people have shared.
• Life's too short to be bored or brooding - come smile with us ...
• ... and make the world smile, too.
• Join the fun! (Direct jump to 'Share Your Joke')

Page Concept: We Share the Fun!

In essence this page is a shared joke blog. It's where you can share your best funny joke - and read the funny one liners, etc. that others have shared. You can even comment on the jokes that others have shared.

What Tickles Your Funny Bone?

So what may a very funny joke be about? Well, just about everything as long as it's funny! (Check out the simple submission guidelines below).

Humor is all in the mind of the reader/listener, of course.

And since no two people are alike, there's no telling what someone will find funny. Our funny bone may get seriously tickled by something that doesn't even make your funny bone twitch.

So, we've got to allow for diversity. There'll be a bit of everything on this page.

Simple Guidelines for Your Submissions

That being said, we do have a few pointers regarding what makes a very funny joke (all else being equal):

--> Short is better than long
. . . Not always, but most of the time. Short simply packs a better punch! (Punch is good). Okay, but how short is a really funny joke, then? As long as it takes! :-)

--> The unexpected is good
. . . Meaning not only that we've got to be surprised by the punch line but also that in order to be a very funny joke it's got be new to us. So don't visit the joke Intensive Care Unit to pull old jokes out of their respirators. They won't survive here.

--> Negativity is bad
. . . Want to put someone down in the nastiest way possible? Don't do it here. It's usually never funny, and we're not going to allow it. How to tell negativity from humor? Easy: If it's going to damage someone's self esteem, it's negative.

--> Taboos are often great
. . . Though taboos do tend to vary from culture to culture. However, if you yourself consider the joke to be very naughty/nasty, sick or inappropriate, well, that's probably a good sign. Don't hold yourself back ... clean funny jokes are most welcome, but rude jokes, very sick jokes and funny sex jokes are more than welcome!

So, below you'll surely find examples of very dirty jokes, politically incorrect jokes, complicated jokes, mind jokes, marriage jokes, memory jokes, funny women jokes, funny food jokes, old people jokes, national jokes and many more. If you don't find the kind of joke you're looking for, please consider adding it yourself!

Who decides what's funny and what's not? Quotescoop.com does. Unilaterally. As we have a very broad sense of humor, we allow for many diverse kinds of funny bones, but we may also edit the content. (If you like, you can refer to 'Legalities' below).

Let's Get Started!

To get us started, we're going to make a few inputs (diverse kinds of funny jokes) right from the start. That way you'll get not only to read a very funny joke or two, but also some idea about what's expected.

If you by now you just want to jump directly to where you can share your joke, go ahead.

Otherwise, we'll get us started with the first very funny joke:

Raising Consciousness?

- If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Very funny joke - funny picture of monky

Monkey Business

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Do You Like Sex in the Movies?

- I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once, the seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well it really chilled her mood.

Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.

Memory Class

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the instructor we took the memory class from?"

Lost in Thought

- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Looking for Camouflage Gear

Funny picture of army soldier in camouflage gear

- I went into the local store, I was looking to buy some camouflage gear, but sadly enough I couldn't find any.

Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.

A Bad Day ...

- You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
and
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
and
It's all organized by the Italians.

Think About This One

- There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.

Can You Handle Pain?

- I can handle pain - until it hurts.

Speeding Blonde ...

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May I see your licence?

Lady: What does it look like?

Officer: Its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer looks in it up and says 'If you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

Braveheart

- I don't mind taking a risk, as long as I know everything will turn out okay.

Jump directly to 'share your very funny joke'? Click here.

Marriage Joke

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning he got up early. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Hurray for the Tiny Difference

- The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Marriage Joke

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning he got up early. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Hurray for the Tiny Difference

- The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Share Your Very Funny Joke

Do you have a great really funny joke - or several? Share it with the world and make it a more fun place to live in! Our experice with jokes is, the shorter, the funnier - the short ones simply pack more fun!

Enter the Title of Your Joke Here (what your joke is about)

Click here to see the rest of the form and complete your submission.

Very Funny Jokes Other Visitors Have Shared

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Visitors' Naughty and Funny Confucius Say Jokes
Confucius say: He who must choose to amputate leg, find himself in delimba. ~ Jake Livingston ~ Confucius say: Man with beard who go down on woman, …

Hilarious Duck Jokes from Humorous Visitors
(Visitor's very funny weird duck joke:) A woman taking a walk in the woods was surprised to have a small white duck covered in shit waddle into her …

Visitors' Funny Blonde Jokes
(Visitor's blonde joke): Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!

Good Jokes, Good humor from Good Visitors Not rated yet
Wondering why you aren't seeing unicorns? Well, there are 3 possibilities for where those elusive unicorns could be at or what actually happened to …

Funny Visitors' Random Great Jokes Not rated yet
(Visitor shares a funny epitaph:) Okay, this isn't strictly a joke, but it is funny. On a grave in Enosburg (a town in Vermont, US), I saw an epitaph …

Visitor's Very Funny Jokes and Good Humor Not rated yet
(Visitor's Sherlock Holmes joke): Sherlock Holmes and his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson, were camping. In the early evening they sat looking at the campfire …

Click here to write your own.

Legalities

When you submit your joke and other information to this page, please note that while common jokes are usually considered public domain, material that has been created from scratch and published by someone in some form is copyrighted and may not be used. (Quoting people and giving them due credit is still allowed, though). Any copyright issues that may arise from what you submit here are solely your responsibility. If there is any doubt, we'll remove the material without notice.

Obviously, since this is our page, we'll edit the content. We'll edit/correct anything we please as we please, and if we don't like what you send us, we'll delete it. Simple as that.

Also, Quotescoop.com reserves the right to publish or re-publish anything you submit ... anywhere, at any time, in any form we please. You will receive no payment for this, but if you provide us with your true name and contact data (which we will treat confidentially) we will always credit you as the author - and even provide a link to your website, if you have one.

For further information, please read the pages privacy policy and disclaimer..